Loving yourself can be a hard business in our modern world. Social media can be a double edged sword of both personal and expectation. In a world of ever changing products and standards it can feel hard to find that peaceful place to just be unapologetically you.
I’ve been working on my body positivity for a long time now. Loving myself has become one of my most rewarding relationships I’ve ever become part of and its something I really like to use my space to promote others, both men and women, to embrace. Loving yourself truly is a life long romance and one that can really help improve your quality of life!
But self love can also feel like an illusive thing sometimes and many of us don’t always know where to start! So in collaboration with Erstwilder’s amazing new release with Body Positive Artist Mel Stringer, I wanted to share my 10 easy steps to love yourself better!
Step 1 ~ Give up on the idea of Perfection
Perfection is something that for a long time has been a focal point for our society. Being perfect or more relevantly, being viewed as perfect is a drive many of us have. But the reality is, perfection doesn’t exist and striving for something so unobtainable can be really damaging to our self love journey. Learning to accept that you are enough and valid, even with all your flaws (which lets be honest, help make up you!) is a massive step towards a better self love relationship. How many times have we thought to ourselves when I’m X I’ll be good enough to do Y. You’re good enough now! Not being perfect is completely OK and something we need to be more accepting of!
Step 2 ~ Forgive yourself for your mistakes
We all make mistakes. Its part of being human. Some mistakes hurt us, some mistakes hurt others and some mistakes hurt both. Learning from mistakes and forgiving ourselves for making them is a huge step forward in loving ourselves. I mean, how can we love ourselves when we’re hanging onto and harbouring self resentment? Negativity festers and infects everything around it. So try to accept that you can make mistakes, that you can take the lessons from them and put that baggage down to allow yourself to heal.
Step 3 ~ Be honest with yourself about who you are
The world seems to shun the idea that people are multi-faceted beings with both positive and negative personality traits for this shining all be it, unrealistic ideal that people are these amazing good beings that do no wrong. This focus on good can often make it hard to acknowledge and accept the darker sides of our personality that all people possess. But being honest with yourself, acknowledging these traits and accepting them is a massive step towards accepting yourself as a whole. Just because you have negative traits, it doesn’t by default make you a bad person. But being self aware is a huge step towards understanding who we are and accepting our whole selves, not just the ‘good bits’.
Step 4 ~ Respect yourself
This one seems like a bit of a no brainer, but is honestly one of the hardest things to do. By respecting yourself I mean taking care of yourself across the board. Things like getting enough sleep. Allowing balance in your life for work/social things. Let yourself have self care days to recuperate and regenerate. Set boundaries in your life that allow you to take care of yourself. Say no to things when you need to. Taking care of yourself is a multitude of different things for different people, but making sure you give yourself that respect and take care of yourself in the way that works best for you is SUPER important.
Step 5 ~ Celebrate your accomplishments
It can be easy to focus on negatives instead of positives. It can be easy to focus on what we didn’t get to do instead of what we did. Celebrating what we accomplish, no matter how big or small is an amazing step to validating the positive you do in your life and help foster those positive self love thoughts. You’re allowed to celebrate your accomplishments in a way that makes you feel good. Treat yourself to something nice, take yourself on a date or just give yourself some quiet reflection that you’re an amazing individual that kicked ass….even if it was just making the bed that morning and getting through your day.
Step 6 ~ Pursue loved and new interests
We all have things we love doing. For me burlesque and pole dancing have both been climbing high on my list of things that make me feel like a BABE! Its good to give focus to not just established interested and hobbies that make us feel good, but also to step outside our comfort zone and try new things that we have an interest in. This step outside can help us grow new relationships, improve our self confidence and expand our self awareness. All of which can help us grow our self love. Its important to remember when trying new things to be patient with ourselves (everyone starts as a beginner) and to allow yourself to be a student and learn.
Step 7 ~ Work on Self Trust
This may seem like an odd one but it is an important one. Self trust is trusting yourself to make the right decision, that your gut instinct is correct and that knowing what is best for you. These can be tricky things to listen to and I know as someone that likes to weigh every outcome before I decide on anything, it can be hard to give yourself that trust. But giving yourself that trust to make the right choice by you is a big step towards loving yourself better.
Step 8 ~ Practice Positive Self Talk
I find it daunting about how rampant negative self talk is and how socially acceptable it is to put yourself down. This culture of self berating and hate really does need to stop. It is SO damaging to a healthy and positive self love relationship. A rule I like to practice, is if I wouldn’t say it to my 5 year old self, I don’t say it to myself now. Also being aware of how we negatively talk to ourselves allows us to flip this and slowly replace it with positive affirmations instead. It takes more time and effort for a positive affirmation to stick, but over time it can become as easy as negative self talk can.
Step 9 ~ Focus less on comparison and winning approval
Ever looked at your instagram or facebook feed at someone else’s photos and instantly felt bad about yourself? Ever looked at how few likes a photo you’ve posted has received and felt bad about it because you feel people don’t like you as a result? Ever had that green eyed monster come out because of these things? Both comparison and using approval as validation are thieves and self joy and self love. It’s so important to remember that someone else’s shine, instantly doesn’t dull yours. We have enough room to all shine together. And wouldn’t the world be nicer if we did. Try and focus on yourself as an individual instead of as a comparison to someone else. Let yourself exist without the constrictions of the approval of others. You are enough as you are without these things!
Step 10 ~ Surround yourself with Positive people
And to round this blog post off, surround yourself with people who lift you, inspire you and help you shine. Distance yourself from people who impact you in a negative way and build a community around yourself that is supportive and healthy. Our surroundings definitely have a massive impact on how we can interact with ourselves, so be mindful of where you put your energy.
I hope you’ve all found this blog post help!
These amazing body positive brooches from Erstwilder and artist Mel Stringer are also now available in their store! Plus each brooch comes with a little positive affirmation card in the lid, which I adore!
Also, $2 from every brooch sold from this release will be donated to the Butterfly Foundation, which help support those suffering from Eating Disorders and body image issues. These amazing body positive brooches from Erstwilder and artist Mel Stringer are also now available in their store! Plus each brooch comes with a little positive affirmation card in the lid, which I adore!
Til next time darlings!
Disclaimer: Whilst I received these brooches in collaboration with erstwilder, all opinions expressed are honest to help ensure the most accurate information for my readers.